What should parents allow their children to do after school? 1. Participate in social activities or do homework 2. Do what their children want to do.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing What should parents allow their children to do after school? 1. Participate in social activities or do homework 2. Do what their children want to do.

  • meteor
    University: Peking University
    Nationality: Chinese
    February 9, 2020 at 3:51 pm

    What should parents allow their children to do after school?

    1. Participate in social activities or do homework

    2. Do what their children want to do.

    Should parents allow their children to participate in social activities or do their homework or should parents allow their children to do whatever they want to do? Personally, however, I believe the former one is better.

    First of all, Participating in social activities is a good way for children to sharpen their personal skills, get to know about their country and then take initiative. Child can hold a lively discussion with those who have different opinions which can lift children’s spirit and spark their imagination. Take my classmate’s story as an example. Once she knew a family had lost their house during a fire, and after communication with others, she decided to send donations to the family. Even she was just a high school student at that time,  she made a difference to the world.

    Secondly, It is important to review the lessons through doing homework in time. For one thing, they can overcome the roadblocks by correcting their mistakes in the homework. For another, they can navigate the charm and beauty of knowledge through homework. To get an insight of lessons and finish the homework, they might need to go to the library, check on the internet. People always find themselves gradually absorbed in the subject during this process and come up with brilliant ideas.

    Admittedly, it is important to give children enough space and time to zoom in their hobbies. Successful mans are always those who find out what they are good at in a very young age and keep doing for a long time. However, the true is most of us can’t identifying dangerous or safe when we are children, we don’t exactly know what we want to do either. If parents allow their children to have enough free time, it could cause unexpected accidents.

    In conclusion, I am of the opinion that if I am a mother, I would allow my children to take part into the social activities or do their homework.

    February 13, 2020 at 4:40 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. Nearly 50% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. Convert passive sentences into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

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