When parents cannot afford time to accompany their children, they could choose to send their children to the child-care centre where many children have cared together; or they could send their children to an individual caregiver. Which one is better?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing When parents cannot afford time to accompany their children, they could choose to send their children to the child-care centre where many children have cared together; or they could send their children to an individual caregiver. Which one is better?

  • Yunki
    University: 浙江工业大学
    Nationality: China
    November 23, 2019 at 3:39 pm

    When parents cannot afford time to accompany their children, they could choose to send their children to the child-care centre where many children have cared together; or they could send their children to an individual caregiver. Which one is better?

    There is always no enough time for parents to take care of their children, so these parents do face a dilemma of whether to send their beloved baby to a child-care center or an individual caregiver. In my opinion, Sending them to a child-care center seems a better choice.

    Admittedly, an individual caregiver can provide children with more careful treatment. Children with their own nanny have a pair of eyes focus on them every minute to ensure they are not in trouble. However, the benefit of hiring an individual caregiver is overshadowed by the merit of sending children to a child-care center where cost may only half of the fees of a full-time caregiver.

    When we talk about raising a child from an infant to his eighteen, we are talking about an unimaginable amount of money. It is wise to budget expenses by not wasting money on an individual caregiver. For example, my aunt went back to work as quickly as she can after she gave birth to a lovely girl. She sent her daughter to a child-center and saved enough money for her to go to the best primary school with an incredibly high fee.

    On the other hand, going to a child-center may serve as a way to make life-long friends or at least make a lot of friends of their age. The child they met in the child-center may also get into the same primary school, the same high school, and even the same university. The first meeting of my best friend and I were in our child-center and the most embarrassing thing where we were the only two children who cried all day because of the left of our parents which became the first reason for our friendship.

    In conclusion, hiring an individual caregiver may gain better care, but going to a child-center demands less money and may receive the best friendship.

    December 21, 2019 at 2:15 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. More than 75% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.