TPO53 integrated writing: whether imposing taxes on cigarettes and unhealthy food is beneficial

The reading and listening both discuss (the issue of )[redundant   ]whether imposing taxes on cigarettes and unhealthy food is beneficial. The reading claims that it surely is while the professor suggests that the (point above)[ unclear  ] cannot hold water( by pointing out three reasons)[unclear-misplaced   ].

First off[ incorrect  ], the reading passage contends that( higher price)[unclear/article error   ] will prevent people from consuming unhealthy products. However, the professor argues against that point by saying that this strategy will only push people to purchase cheaper and less healthy ones, thus doing nothing good for improving the society’s[ unclear  ] health condition.

Second, even though the reading passage reckons that this policy is performing[ wrong word  ] justice as it balances the extra medical cost[  word form error ] resulting from unhealthy behaviors，the professor holds a totally different view that the tax is more of a burden for poor people than the rich ones. As a result, imposing taxes is unfair in essence.

Finally, disagreeing with the viewpoint in the passage that these taxes are a good profiting channel for the government[  lengthy ], the professor puts forward that the government may get [ wrong word  ]reliant on this income source and [therefore   ]refuse to put forward policies which[ incorrect pronoun  ] may harm this revenue. Consequently, the tax policy will damage( the total well-being of the society.)[ unclear  ]

The reading and listening both discuss whether imposing taxes on cigarettes and unhealthy food is beneficial. The reading claims that it surely (delete) is beneficial while the professor suggests that it (the argument) cannot (does not) hold water for the following reasons. (combine the two previous sentences into one)

First of all, the reading passage contends that imposing taxes on unhealthy products will escalate (increase) their prices (delete), which will prevent people (thereby preventing people) from consuming them. However, the professor argues against that point by saying that (delete) this strategy will only push people to purchase cheaper and less healthy ones (options), thus doing nothing good for (not) improving the physical well-being of the whole society (public health).

Second, even though (delete) the reading passage reckons that (delete) this policy is doing justice as it balances the extra medical costs resulting from unhealthy behaviors, (split into two sentences here) However, the professor holds a totally different view that (says) the tax is more of a burden (burdensome) for poor people than the rich ones (delete). As a result, imposing taxes is unfair (add more detail here).

Finally, the professor also disagrees with the idea that these taxes are a good profiting channel (source of revenue) for the government. She puts forward that (argues) the government may become reliant on this income source, therefore (and it will therefore) refuse to put forward (pass) policies that may harm this revenue, even though the policies can reduce unhealthy products’ consumption. (sentence is slightly unclear)

The reading and listening both discuss whether imposing (delete) taxes on cigarettes and unhealthy food is beneficial; however, (delete) with the reading claims it is (these taxes are) beneficial while the professor suggests that the argument does not hold water for the following reasons. (makes this a separate sentence)

First of all (delete), the reading passage contends that imposing taxes on unhealthy products will increase their (delete) prices, thereby preventing people from consuming them. However, the professor argues this strategy will only push people to purchase cheaper and less healthy options, thus not improving public health.

Second, the reading passage reckons this policy is doing justice as it balances the extra medical costs resulting from unhealthy behaviors. However, the professor says the tax is more burdensome for poor people. As a result, imposing taxes is unfair as it widens the gap between the rich and the poor.

Finally, the professor also disagrees that these taxes are a good source of revenue for the government. She argues the government may become reliant on this income source. Therefore, it (the government) may refuse to pass policies that may (delete) harm this revenue, even though they can reduce unhealthy products’ consumption (the consumption of unhealthy food) and improve social well-being.