Whether you agree with the opinion that sports and social activities are as important as classes and libraries, and should receive equal financial support?

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Whether you agree with the opinion that sports and social activities are as important as classes and libraries, and should receive equal financial support?

  • neut_ql
    University: NJU
    Nationality: China
    December 3, 2020 at 1:41 am

    Do you agree with the opinion that sports and social activities are as important as classes and libraries, and should receive equal financial support?

    The shape of lives should be multilateral, which is the same for university students. I agree with the opinion that activities beside study should be equally supported such as sports and social events.

    Firstly, a good university student will not only be an expert in his or her professional aspect. Basically speaking, good health is the insurance for a good career in all professions. Without enough exercise and well developed social connections, a student may be prone to suffer from certain kind of physical or mental weakness, which is harmful for his or her personality and life. To offer the students a good environment in these respects, financial investment in sports ground, social activities and psychological institutes is essential.

    Besides, these activities could also work for the study, research or academic projects in many ways. Sports and social events could give students chances to make friends with people from different colleges and institutes, which may improve the multi-subjects communications. Some of the activities could mix some subjects features or news in the slogans, advertisements and awards, which may broadcast the study results to more people. University is not just a school but also a center for scholars, artists, scientists and experts in all professions. Sometimes important meetings or conference will be held in the university, the financial support is thus undoubtedly vital.

    At the same time, limited life results in limited feeling, limited courses mean limited jobs or career directions in some way. However, various activities will certainly do some good to this situation. Student can actually enjoy themselves in these activities and relax freely, which is obviously beneficial. They can try new things, digging out their potentials in brand new aspects such as some certain sports or communication skills. Sometimes they may find the real talents in them, which could lead a genius to an extraordinary marvelous way, bringing a new age of some certain profession.

    For so many reasons, apparently these activities should gain enough financial support.

    Administrator
    University: University of Wisconsin
    December 5, 2020 at 3:41 am

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 45% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. State your argument in the introduction clearly and provide some short supporting information. Why do you agree?
    3. Word choice errors
    4. Article errors
    5. Plural versus singular errors

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.