Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Young people enjoy life more than the old people do.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Young people enjoy life more than the old people do.

  • Ying
    University: Huazhong University of Science and Technology
    Nationality: China
    September 17, 2020 at 9:34 am

    Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Young people enjoy life more than the old people do.

    Who enjoys their life more, the young or the old? Personally, I’d say that young people enjoy their life more than the old.

    Firstly, young people has more competences to enjoy life. There goes a saying that health is the base of life. No one can deny that young people are equipped with more energy and vigorous, which provide them with more opportunities to enjoy the life. With a healthy body, young people could play sports required acute body conflict, or travel and discover the world before getting to old. Compared to the young people, however, the old people have to face many obstacles when enjoy the life. For instance, poor health condition could deter them from traveling. Their life would become boring and limited because they miss their best time to enjoy their life.

    Second, young people are more available to enjoy life. That is to say that young people have more free time to spend and don’t need to worrying about their time. The young, especially before getting married, have few responsibilities for their family and lover. They can decide their life independently without instruction and interruption from others. Just take my best friend for example, he set up a short trip to the countryside without too much preparation. Instead, after the people getting old, they have to spend pretty much time on dealing with the things from work and family, which may prevent them from enjoying the life thoroughly.

    However, I can’t say that the old don’t enjoy their life. There are some factors that help the old to enjoy their life better. For example, their children and family would company and assist the old , or the old people may have more properties which could support their cost.

    In summary, since the young have more energy and time, I believe that the young enjoy their life better.

     

    September 17, 2020 at 9:31 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. About 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
    2. About 10% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
    3. Word repetition/numerous grammatical errors/word form error/.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    Ying
    University: Huazhong University of Science and Technology
    Nationality: China
    October 3, 2020 at 2:26 am

    Who enjoys their life more, the young or the old? I’d say that young people enjoy their life more than the old ones.
    Firstly, young people have more competences to enjoy life. There goes a saying that health is the base of life. No one can deny that young people are equipped with more energy and creativity, which provides them with more opportunities to enjoy life. With a healthy body, young people could play sports required acute body conflict, or travel and discover the world before getting too old. Compared to young people, however, older people have to face many obstacles when enjoying life. For instance, a poor health condition could deter them from traveling. Their lives would become boring and limited to a certain life routine because they miss their best time enjoying their lives.
    Secondly, young people are more available to enjoy life. That is to say that young people have more free time to spend and don’t need to worry about their time. The young have few responsibilities for their family, especially before getting married. They can decide their life independently without interruption from others. Just take my best friend; for example, he set up a short trip to the countryside without too much preparation. Instead, after the people get old, they have to spend pretty much time dealing with things from work and family, which may prevent them from enjoying life thoroughly.
    However, I can’t say that the old don’t enjoy their life. Some factors help the senior to enjoy their life better. For example, their children and family would company and assist the old, or the older people may have more properties that could support their cost during their leisure time.
    In summary, since the young have more energy and time, I believe that the young enjoy their life better.