Young people should try different jobs before they decide which job or career they will choose in the long term

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Young people should try different jobs before they decide which job or career they will choose in the long term

  • windsOvO
    University: WHUT
    Nationality: China
    August 6, 2020 at 12:01 pm

    Young people should try different jobs before they decide which job or career they will choose in the long term.

    Currently, as a major income source, job plays an indispensable role in our daily life. It is considered that juveniles should try a variety of work before they choose the career which they work in a long-time period.I deem that we should try some other jobs before we begin our long-period job.

    Having some internships can facilitate us to find which field suits us most. These jobs offer us the initial feeling of working in the certain field. Then we will have explicit conception of this field and know how we utilize the knowledge to fulfill our assignment and apply to practice during the work. After this, we are just aware of this job is fit us or not and reckon the future plan. For example, last year, my alumnus was straight out of university. His majority is software engineering so that he interned in Tencent which is one of the greatest Chinese internet company. During his internship, he realized that as a programmer he must keep working day and night. Besides, he cannot bear this painstaking in a long time. He claimed this career was tedious and not suit him. Latterly, he moved to software testing and find it was better to him.

    When we have tried a few of jobs before we work in a long-time period, we accumulated experience of numerous aspects. Other jobs confer us the intellectual which could assist our future work. In addition, business background can broaden our horizon and promote our work competence. Nowadays, interdiscipline knowledge is essential in workplace competition. Meanwhile, a multitude of job requirements need some work experience, and these experience also rich our resumes.  For example, another friend of mine who graduated from college two years ago. Base on his inferior performance of interview and devoid of content in his resume, he originally just entered a small common company. After He had fully devoted to work and self-improvement, he was successful to enter a more satisfying enterprise.

    In conclusion, we had better to try a few jobs to fit or choose future career which we finalize.

    August 7, 2020 at 8:26 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. Article errors
    2. Word choice errors
    3. Subject-verb agreement errors
    4. Lengthy paragraphs. Restrict each paragraph to 90 words
    5. About 15% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.