Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Your job has more effect on your happiness than your social life does.

TOEFL, IELTS, Personal Statement and CV Proofreading Services. TOEFL Writing Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Your job has more effect on your happiness than your social life does.

  • Nana
    University: agricultural university
    Nationality: china
    July 25, 2020 at 2:19 pm

    Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Your job has more effect on your happiness than your social life does.

    Gratification is an aim that people spend lifetime pursuing makes life full into well-being, yet the way that acquires happiness is still an issue to struggle with the modern people. Some people argue that successful social relationships would positively impact their delight. I tend to claim that, however, nothing is more important than the job that has a greater influence on the overall happiness.

    To begin with, it is beneficial for people who have a high-paying career to feel happy than others. To explain further, economic stability, high earning and bright career prospects seem to translate into life satisfaction. Moreover, the plethora of money collected, people can sustain their families. Hardly can an impoverished adult introduce his family to constant health care, quality education or family vacations. According to the 2019 National Survey on psychology indicated that 78 percent of employees who satisfied current life and feel happy are have relatively rewarding careers. Therefore, the more salary employees have, the more happiness can they embrace.

    Furthermore, it is a decent job that provides an assessment with enhancing social status, which makes people be close to happiness. To be more specific, the higher career ladder employees move up, the more senses of achievement people have. In the meantime, acquiring a such decent occupation is not only motivates people to boost efficiency, but also makes it happier for people. Take John as an example. In order to guarantee promotion, John spends a plethora of time to obtaining a variety of knowledge instead of engaging in social activities. For John, nothing is beyond happier than as a chief executive officer, which allows him to acquire a relative social status.

    All in all, compared with the careers’ benefits, the strengthens of social life unworthy of noticing at all. The more successful careers people will be involved, the happier he is.

    July 27, 2020 at 8:54 pm

    Score: ungraded

    Issues:

    1. Simplify language, remove unnecessary language and use simpler words.
    2. Sentence structure, include (noun + verb in every sentence) to make complete sentences
    3. Article errors
    4. About 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.

    I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

    July 27, 2020 at 8:56 pm

    Invalid [You need to complete the revision of your other essay prior to submitting this one. ]