I agree with Kelly’s idea that it is better to use computer games to[ can ] help young children learn. In addition, In my view, since computer games are [one of  ]the most popular [ effective ][ learning ]way [s  ]for students, [the traditional ways of learning from   ]why should we go back and use books and papers[ are outdated. ]?

Especially these[ These ] days, the computer has become a necessary thing in our daily life. There is no harm for young children to learn this useful tool earlier.

Since computers have widely integrated with our daily lives, acquiring basic computer knowledge and skills is essential for one’s personal and professional growth. 

Some people may doubt that the computer will have an effect on children’s eyes.

However, I do not agree with this idea. Reading books for a long time can also hurt children’s eyes. For example, When I was a kid, I did not play computer often. However, my eyesight became worse and worse because I spent too long time indoors. Therefore, long time studying could cause damage to children in both ways. Why shouldn’t we pick the more interesting one for the children to learn.

Choppy sentences