Thanks! Here is my 2nd revision:

Nowadays, many people think that they should do enjoyment-things first because life is too short. Such thought causes someone’s concern that people waste much time on things they want rather than things they should do. From my perspective, such concern ignores the necessity and benefit of doing enjoyment-things in one’s life.

First, people must do things that they like. If people don’t spend enough time on their enjoyment-things, their emotional burden might increase, which can impact their efficiency on things they should do. Take me for example, I always force myself to do things I should do, such as study hard. I spend little time on things I like, such as the anime. As a result, I get tired of study, sitting before the table without writing down a word. The more homework I procrastinate, the more stressed I feel. Finally, I get depressed and have to make psychological counseling. I follow my consultant’s suggestion to spend more time on anime I enjoy, which makes me relaxed and energizes me to do things I should do. My experience shows that spending time on enjoyment-doing things is necessary to maintain the efficiency of things should do.

Then, it is worth encouraging people to spend time on things they enjoy, which can help to maximize their productivity. For instance, a friend of mine loves to play games, which drives him to find a job that can support his game playing. At last, he becomes a human-computer interaction researcher who develops games that are fun and less addictive. Doing enjoyment-things helps him meet his personal need, and drives him to work hard on the things that benefit society.

In all, people must spend enough time on things they enjoy to maintain their efficiency, work well on things they should do, and contribute to society.