Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
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July 27, 2019 at 9:49 am
IELTS Writing Topic: : Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
In recent years, with the increasing development of information technology, there is an argument that computers are the most important invention of the last century. In this essay, I will examine the views of this argument.
Some people agree that we cannot live without computers in modern society. Mastering computer technology may be an essential skill for employees who seek promotion in the company. For example, engineers need computers to analyze data and design new projects. Even civilian staff must use a computer to input documents. However, for those who are studying at school, the usage of computers seems to be not significant enough. It is a mainstream that using papers to do homework or finish tests.
In my view, I think the more important invention should be alternating current. Without electricity, we even cannot launch computers. From lights in the house to machines in the factories, all modern facilities should use this power to circulate the modern world. There is probably no such a place that not require electric power except some primitive areas in the slash and burning ages.
Indeed, maybe there is a more important invention than mine like some medical treatments saving people from death. The public should be aware that all inventions created in the last century are important to humans’ daily life. People come from different backgrounds should not be the reason that wasting too much time on this inappropriate argument. No matter what invention it is, the users should be very grateful to those hardworking inventors.
July 30, 2019 at 1:35 amScore: 58.7
Suggestions for Improvement
- Convert passive sentences into their active counterparts;
- Shorten/split sentences exceeding 20 words.
Problems Highlight
In recent years, with the increasing development of information technology, there is [grammatical error/There be ] an argument that computers are the most important invention of the last century[This is not an argument ]. [Verbose]In this essay, I will examine the views of this argument. [ Unclear ]Some people agree that we cannot live without computers in modern society. Mastering [ Coherence]computer technology may be an essential skill for employees who seek promotion in the company. [Verbose]For example, engineers need computers to analyze data and design new projects. [ lack of connection with the prior sentence ]Even civilian staff must [ absolute ]use a computer to input documents. However, for those who are studying at school[ verbose/students ], the usage of computers seems to be not significant enough[ wordy ]. It[ pronoun ] is a mainstream that using papers to do homework or finish tests.In my view, I think [repetition ]the more important invention should be alternating current[ unclear ]. Without electricity, we even cannot launch [ wrong word ]computers. From lights in the house to machines in the factories, all modern facilities[logical inconsistency ] should use this power to circulate[ wrong word ] the modern world. There [ There BE ]is probably no such a place that not require electric power except some primitive areas in the slash and burning[ unparalleled ] ages.Indeed[ Problematic adverb ], maybe there[ There BE] is a more important invention than mine [ vague]like some medical treatments [ NOT INVENTIONS ]saving people from death. The public[ coherence ] should be aware that all inventions created in the last century are important to humans’ daily life. People [ coherence ] come from different backgrounds should not[ NOT] be the reason that wasting too much time on this inappropriate argument. [Verbose]No matter what invention it is, the users should be very grateful to those hardworking inventors.Comment: There are more errors than those highlighted ones. Please revise and resubmit your essay for further assessment and revision. Regards.
Writing Tips
- Absolute Statement: Avoid using absolute statement.
- ARTICLE ERROR: errors concerning a, an, the. This is a prominent issue for Chinese students. Make sure to add/remove/change articles considering a specific context.
- BE VERBS: BE verbs are dull and vague. Use concrete verbs to replace BE verbs whenever needed. I.E. commercials are beneficial to children. – Commercials benefit children.
- COORDINATING CONJUNCTION error: In formal writing, a comma is needed when the 7 coordinating words (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so – FANBOYS) are connecting sentences/clauses.
- COHERENCE: To improve the natural flow from one sentence to the other, make the subject of a sentence echo the subject, or the object, of the last sentence.
- Effectiveness: use verbs instead of BE+adjectives to improve effectiveness.
- Grammatical Errors: grammatical mistakes.
- It + Be + Verb: Wordy.
- Logical confusion. Although a sentence is grammatically correct, often it is logically/factually confusing. Having written a sentence, ask yourself if the sentence is logically complete, and/or factually true.
- NOT problem. Experienced writers often avoid using NOT in English writing. I.e. Jack was very upset because he had not passed the GRE test. – I.e. Jack was very upset because he had failed the GRE test.
- PASSIVE VOICE: In many cases, clarity suffers when using passive voice. In particular linguistic contexts, using passive voice is fine.
- Semicolon: Use a semicolon in front of an adverb/adverbial phrase.
- Subjunctive: Memorize the grammatical rules for subjunctive mood.
- There Be Sentence: Wordy
- Unclear Pronouns: A pronoun (it, this, that, they, them., etc) unclearly refers to the prior content. For example, the first sentence contains two singular nouns, so IT in the second sentence can refer either of them.
- Unparalleled Structure: use paralleled structures, including tense.
- VERBOSE: The sentence/phrase can be simplified.
- WEAK VERBS: an alternative verb may help improve sentence effectiveness and clarity. The Internet makes us know many things. – The Internet helps us (to) know many things.
August 2, 2019 at 12:45 pmIn recent years, with the increasing development of information technology, whether computers are the most important invention of the last century becomes a popuplar argument. In this essay, I will examine the views of this argument from two sides.
Some people agree that we cannot live without computers in modern society. Computer skills may be an essential technical ability for employees seeking promotion in the company. For example, people who can use computer to analyse cases or process data may get higer salary than those who fail to. Even civilian staff may use a computer to input documents. However, as for students, the usage of computers seems to be rare. Teachers often assign paper homework rather than online tests.
In my view, alternating current should be more representative than computers. Without electricity, we even cannot start up computers. From lights in the house to machines in the factories, most of modern facilities should use this power to support the operation of modern world. Probably no such a place do not require electric power except some primitive areas in the slashing and burning ages.
Indeed, some medicine saving people from death may be greater than mine. People should be aware that all inventions created in the last century are important to humans’ daily life. People coming from different backgrounds waste too much time on this inappropriate argument is unreasonable. Anyway, the users should be very grateful to those hardworking inventors.
August 6, 2019 at 4:21 amScore: 53.7
Suggestions for Improvement
- Convert passive sentences into their active counterparts;
- Shorten/split sentences exceeding 20 words.
Problems Highlight
In recent years, with the increasing development of information technology, whether computers are the most important invention of the last century becomes a popuplar [ spelling error ]argument. [ The whole sentence makes no sense. Writing is not a process of reciting others’ words, which often make no sense. ]In this essay, I will examine the views of this argument from two sides. [ You fail to present your specific view ] The first paragraph should be graded O since you have not used any of your own words!Some people agree that we cannot live without computers in modern society. Computer skills may be an essential technical ability for employees seeking promotionin the company. For example, people who can use [ article error ]computer to analyse cases or process data may get[ article error ] higer salary than those who fail to. Even civilian staff may use a computer to input documents. However, as for students, the usage of computers seems to be rare. Teachers often assign paper homework rather than online tests.In my view, alternating current [ hard to understand ]should be more representative than computers. [ unclear ]Without electricity, we even cannot start up computers. From lights in the house to machines in the factories, most of [ article error]modern facilities should use this power to support the operation[word form error ] of[ article error ] modern world. Probably no such a place do [ grammatical error ]not require electric power except some primitive areas in the slashing and burning ages.Indeed, some medicine saving people from death may be greater than mine.[ ? ] People should be aware that all inventions created in the last century are important to humans’ daily life. People coming from different backgrounds waste too much time on this inappropriate argument is unreasonable. [wordy/unclear]Anyway, the users should be very grateful to those hardworking inventors.Comment: There are more errors than those highlighted ones. Please revise and resubmit your essay for further assessment and revision. Regards.
Writing Tips
- Absolute Statement: Avoid using absolute statement.
- ARTICLE ERROR: errors concerning a, an, the. This is a prominent issue for Chinese students. Make sure to add/remove/change articles considering a specific context.
- BE VERBS: BE verbs are dull and vague. Use concrete verbs to replace BE verbs whenever needed. I.E. commercials are beneficial to children. – Commercials benefit children.
- COHERENCE: To improve the natural flow from one sentence to the other, make the subject of a sentence echo the subject, or the object, of the last sentence.
- COORDINATING CONJUNCTION error: In formal writing, a comma is needed when the 7 coordinating words (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so – FANBOYS) are connecting sentences/clauses.
- Effectiveness: use verbs instead of BE+adjectives to improve effectiveness.
- Grammatical Errors: grammatical mistakes.
- It + Be + Verb: Wordy.
- Logical confusion. Although a sentence is grammatically correct, often it is logically/factually confusing. Having written a sentence, ask yourself if the sentence is logically complete, and/or factually true.
- NOT problem. Experienced writers often avoid using NOT in English writing. I.e. Jack was very upset because he had not passed the GRE test. – I.e. Jack was very upset because he had failed the GRE test.
- PASSIVE VOICE: In many cases, clarity suffers when using passive voice. In particular linguistic contexts, using passive voice is fine.
- Semicolon: Use a semicolon in front of an adverb/adverbial phrase.
- Subjunctive: Memorize the grammatical rules for subjunctive mood.
- There Be Sentence: Wordy
- Unclear Pronouns: A pronoun (it, this, that, they, them., etc) unclearly refers to the prior content. For example, the first sentence contains two singular nouns, so IT in the second sentence can refer either of them.
- Unparalleled Structure: use paralleled structures, including tense.
- VERBOSE: The sentence/phrase can be simplified.
- WEAK VERBS: an alternative verb may help improve sentence effectiveness and clarity. The Internet makes us know many things. – The Internet helps us (to) know many things.
