The first line chart depicts the number of families having three kinds of machines[ UNCLEAR  ] measured by percentages across the 9-year span[ the nine years  ] from 1820 to 2019, [ . The  ] the other line graph compares 99-year data (in families of how much time housework took measured by hours in a family each week in a country.)[ confusing  ]

Looking from an overall perspective,[Overall, ] it is readily clear that the ownership of three electrical appliances had an increasing trend over the[ a  ] period of 1 century, [  ; ] whereas (the data of refrigerators)[ unclear  ] experienced the most considerable jump. In addition, [ the  ] time spent on housework (of a family nose-dived)[ unclear  ] in[  during ] the same period.

Out of the (possess of three kinds of machines)[  unclear ] , the figure of refrigerators was the lowest with 0% in 1920, where [ a  ] dramatic increase of 100% occurred in it until 1980, before the ownership had levelled out by 2019 with 100%. On the one hand, there was an (ascending of 70%)[ unclear  ] in the figure of [ for  ] vacuum cleaners from 30% to 100%, [punctuation error   ] after which it stayed unchanged in [ /during  ] the rest of the time; on the other hand, that of washing machines witnessed a comparably stable rise in general of nearly 25% except a slight drop for 10 years since 1960 from 70% to 65%.

For the hours spent on housework per family, which plummeted to 20 hours from 50 hours smoothly until 1960, since which time it kept hover between 20 hours and 10 hours and finally hit the bottom of 10 hours in 2019.[ lengthy/grammatical errors  ]

Restrict each paragraph to 90 words.

Fix issues indicated in the screenshots and then resubmit.

For young people who hope to gain career successes[ success  ], being able to eventually reach [ a  ]leadership position is a suggestion of their success in the industry. However, there are[  is ] debate regarding [ the  ]best method to nurture their leadership position. Some people say we should instill [instil   ]in a sense of cooperation rather than having them face immense competition in the modern society. However, i [  I ]disagree with such[ an  ] argument.

It is important to note that a compotent[  competent ] leader need[s   ] to display [an  ]ability to cooperation [ coorporate  ]and even [ an  ]ability to assist others in improving their cooperation. As a leader, being able to work closely with others in an efficient matter will send[ sends  ] a positive message across the government body or businesses that everyone is serving( a greater good )[ unclear  ][  , ]and they will work together to achieve their goal. For instance, OpenAI’s CEO Sam Altman was already an [ a  ]talented scientist, but [  . Still, ]his cooperation with his team[  , ] as well as Microsoft, made this small team efficient[  . ] and [ As a result, his team  ]has made progress in the AI industry much faster than any businesses [  have ], producing [ the  ]GPT model that are[ is  ] considered to be a game-changer to our current world. However, only by instilling in a sense of cooperation would not be sufficient. The society is highly competitive, with only knowing how to cooperate, leaders become too naive to navigate themselves in competitive environment and would be susceptible to competitors behaviors and being overtaken[  wordy, unclear ].

Thus, having a competition [ word form error  ]mindset is also crucial. Being competitive shows that the person deeply cares about what they are passionate about,[ punctuation error  ] it is a way of self-assuring that they will do whatever it takes to help the organisation to achieve their goal. This mindset will be crucial for all leaders, and the best way to develop it is through compeitition[  spelling error ]. You quickly learn what you are most passionate about [ punctuation error  ]and the fact that you can be in yout[ spelling error  ] position, suggests that you also have the qualities for it. This is a significant confidence booster, which is what people need in a leadership position[ unclear pronouns  ]. Such confident[word form error   ] will be spread to everyone else in the organisation, boosting morale and thus leading to increase productivity.

In addition, as having mentioned previously, leaders face immense competition nowadays [ ,  ]and there would be competitors with malicious intent or content actions that need to be dealt with in a delicate manner. If young people have [ were  ]not been in such [ a  ]competitive manner, they would lack experience in such situations. For those who have been combating competition from peers, they can be more sensitive in [to   ]whether there are issue [ s  ]going on, or malicious actions were conducted to hinder their own progress. L[ Therefore, l  ]eaders can therefore become more mature and can handle more adversity will calmness and sharpness[  spelling error ]. These experience[  s ] is [ are  ]crucial for leaders as it helps them to navigate through the market and exploring[  explore ] their own competitive advantege [ spelling error  ]more easily.

Some people think that specializing in a specific subject would be better than having broad knowledge. It’s hard to deny that specializing in a specific subject could [ help one to ] make progress in a specific field more easily, [ punctuation error ] But in my opinion, I don’t agree( it’s better)[repetition  ] to specialize in just one subject. (I will support my opinion on two dimensions.)[be specific  ]

[ Missing transition word ] Having broad knowledge could make[  vague word][ can allow ] us [ to ] adapt to society efficiently[ wrong word ] . With broad knowledge, we could deal with a series of problems.[ lacking evidence support ]

[ Missing transitory word ] Broad knowledge enables us to behave[ perform ] better in different aspects, which means we can fit in various positions. It[ unclear pronoun ] ’s not uncommon to meet some questions that we don’t good at[grammatical error  ] , but if we have [  had] some basic idea about them, then we can [would be able to  ] fix them (in an interdisciplinary way efficaciously)[ unclear ] .[  punctuation error] And in society, have diverse knowledge from diverse[repetition  ] subjects indicating versatility and multiple functions[ grammatical error ] . Therefore, we are more competitive than others in searching for a good job.

Secondly, learning broad subjects it’s [  grammatical error] a prerequisite to specializing in one specific subject. Admittedly, almost every subject is more or less related to each other. We will find out if we specialize in one subject to some degree, [ punctuation error  ]we need the knowledge to come from other subjects. For example, biologists always know a lof knowledge of chemistry,[  sweeping statement ][ punctuation error  ] because they [ unclear pronoun  ]are tightly related, and chemists always [sweeping statement   ]know about physics just the same as the relation between biology and chemistry. There have not [grammatical error   ]so many independent subjects like today in ancient[  unclear ]. All the scholars l[ sweeping statment  ]earn about philosophy, not the meaning of philosophy present today[ unclear  ], [ punctuation error  ]it’s a matter of all the scientific subjects combination[ unclear  ]. [  punctuation error ]And all the scientists with some accomplishments today, just like the ancient scholar, have to learn knowledge more than one specific subject[ sweeping/unclear sentence  ]. [  punctuation error ]So it’s not hard to tell the importance of having a broad knowledge.

To sum up, having broad knowledge could make[ word choice problem  ] more chances for us,[ punctuation error  ] And specialization on a specific point necessitates the accumulation of broad knowledge. [ punctuation error  ]So to have broad knowledge it’s better than specializing in one specific subject[ unclear  ].

Fix the problems in the screenshot review.