Problem (2)

This essay scores 39.2 in the test, which is considered VERY difficult to read. Try to make shorter sentences (fewer than 20 words, better 15 words) using less difficult words to improve readability;

Reduce your essay to -320 words.

Good results (4)

Passive voice: You’re using enough active voice. That’s great!

Consecutive sentences: There is enough variety in your sentences. That’s great!

Paragraph length: None of the paragraphs are too long. Great job!

Transition words: Well done!

Problems (4):

This essay scores 47.9 in the test, which is considered VERY difficult to read. Try to make shorter sentences, using less difficult words to improve readability.

Passive voice: 21.1% of the sentences contain passive voice, which is more than the recommended maximum of 10%. Try to use their active counterparts.

Sentence length: 42.1% of the sentences contain more than 20 words. Try to shorten the sentences.

Reduce your essay to -320 words.

Good results (3)

Consecutive sentences: There is enough variety in your sentences. That’s great!

Paragraph length: None of the paragraphs are too long. Great job!

Transition words: Well done!

Problems (1)

The essay scores 42.5 in the test, which is considered difficult to read. Try to make shorter sentences (fewer than 20 words), using less difficult words to improve readability.

Good results (5)

Passive voice: You’re using enough active voice. That’s great!

Consecutive sentences: There is enough variety in your sentences. That’s great!

Paragraph length: None of the paragraphs are too long. Great job!

Sentence length: Great!

Transition words: Well done!

Regards,

Lin Qiu

Problems (4)

Passive voice: 26.7% of the sentences contain passive voice, which is more than the recommended maximum of 10%. Try to use their active counterparts.

Sentence length: 60% of the sentences contain more than 20 words, which is more than the recommended maximum of 25%. Try to shorten the sentences.

Improvements (1)

The copy scores 56.3 in the test, which is considered VERY difficult to read. Try to make shorter sentences to improve readability.

Paragraph length: try to limit your paragraph to 85 words.

Good results (2)

Consecutive sentences: There is enough variety in your sentences. That’s great!

Transition words: Well done!”

Best wishes,

Lin Qiu

Hi,

It appears that funding matters a lot for your potential graduate studies, so let us focus on FUNDING. It is rare that a doctoral program won’t support a student, so accept Clemson’s offer regardless of funding availability at THIS POINT OF TIME. It is highly likely that you will be funded prior to your matriculation this fall. In general, a Department awards funding to students who have ACCEPTED the offer.

For other programs, you can also accept the offers but afterwards talk to the program’s director, or individual professors, for funding opportunities. Remember, no one is interested to talk with you regarding potential funding if you have NOT accepted the offer.

Good luck!

Lin Qiu

• The copy scores 39 in the test, which is considered difficult to read. Try to make shorter sentences, using less difficult words to improve readability.
• Passive voice: 27.8% of the sentences contain passive voice, which is more than the recommended maximum of 10%. Try to use their active counterparts.
• Sentence length: 50% of the sentences contain more than 20 words, which is more than the recommended maximum of 25%. Try to shorten the sentences.

Best wishes,

Lin Qiu

Please find your edited essay below:

https://writersforme.com/ticeayia-essay-20190401/

Below is the clear version of your edited essay (make sure to study the link above first).

For any business to be successful, it must spend a lot of money on advertising.

To survive in an increasingly competitive market, diverse/numerous companies have devoted a large amount of funding to TV advertisements, outdoor commercials and other propaganda/marketing methods[1]. But is it really effective? Or does it really drive the demand for their products as they expect? I disagree with this practice because there are better alternative ways to boost their businesses.

To begin with, an open-minded atmosphere within a company could boost/foster/encourage/support/reinforce successful business practices/operations. If the leader is willing to take/include group members in the decision-making process, employees are more likely to express various ideas, which would spark and accelerate the generation of innovative products. Only innovative/state-of-the-art/recently introduced/the updated products will/can/are able to/ attract consumers’ attention and facilitate them to make a consistent purchase. A typical example is Xiaomi, a top high-tech company in China, where its leader Leijun always gives priority to the suggestions of their employees, and thus the company launches a new version of their mobile phones every two years thereby increasing the sales of Xiaomi to a large extent.

Another contributing factor is quick and effective customer services. We cannot deny that all sorts of companies are required to deal with conflicts during business activities under some specific situations. Sometimes a certain number of users may complain about their bad experiences and even speak up on the social media platforms. If the company turns a blind eye to/ignores/does not respond effectively to it, this will leave a bad impression on the public. On the contrary, once they acknowledge their deficiencies/shortcomings and improve the functions of their products through interacting/interaction with consumers, their customers will feel they are valued and even appreciate the company’s efforts, facilitating their next purchase of the same brand. This can explain why the famous company San Xing recalled their mobile phones in 2010 but managed to achieve an even larger quantity of sales/managed to improve their sales during the next year.

To conclude, it is the company’s attitude towards its employees and customers that enhances the success of business significantly, whereas the effect of advertisements may not be as obvious/clear/conclusive as some people expect/believe.

Hi, please find your edited essay below:

https://writersforme.com/supperdanny-20190330/

Best wishes

Lin Qiu