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May 1, 2019 at 2:18 am
Score: 58.4
Suggestions for Improvement
- Shorten your essay to 320 words;
- Reduce the number of passive-voice sentences;
- Shorten/split sentences exceeding 20 words;
- Many sentences are logically/factually problematic;
- Use concrete verbs to replace BE verbs (i.e. is beneficial – benefits)
Problems Highlight
I disagree with this statement because in my opinion, being open to new ideas constitute [Grammatical Error]the most essential for a leader in a student organization. Some people claim that honesty is the most important because the leader can win the coworkers’ trust. However, personally speaking,[Verbose] being open to new ideas serves as the key rather than honesty.
Firstly, being open to new ideas [Repetition] is beneficial to compensate for the leader’s drawbacks. It is obvious that each individual has his strengths and weaknesses, so a leader needs to keep on learning from others to improve his abilities. Being open to new ideas [Repetition]and willing to accept others’ suggestions exposes a leader to various kinds of opinions, thus enabling him to keep mind updated. [Verbose, difficult-to-read sentence ] What’s more, he can learn some certain filed [?]from others’ ideas, which constitutes [Repetition] a stepping stone to leading a student organization. Here comes a concrete example of Jack Ma, the founder of Alibaba. He was used [Passive Voice]to be an English teacher and was not so sufficient in Web technology. However, he was willing to accept the ideas from his stuff. Finally, he achieved success and became one of the wealthiest people in the world.
Secondly, being open to new ideas is conducive to expanding our social networks. Compared with those who are stubborn, leaders with an open and flexible mind are more likely to leave a pleasant impression on others and tend to have a harmonious relationship with coworkers. [Verbose, difficult-to-read sentence ] They are more likely to be considered [Passive Voice]as easy-going. Coworkers are willing to exchange ideas with them. In this circumstance, less conflict will occur and they can achieve a win-win situation during the cooperation when working for the organization. [Verbose, difficult-to-read sentence ] What’s more, they will be provided [Passive Voice]more opportunities due to the favorable impression they leave on others. For example, they may get more funding to run the organizations and set up more meaningful activities, which are both essential to expend the influence of the organization. [Verbose, difficult-to-read sentence ]
In conclusion, having an open mind to new ideas is considered [Passive Voice]to be the most important for a leader in a student organization. It can make up for a leader’s drawbacks and is crucial in dealing with interpersonal relationships. With this, it is more possible for one to become a successful leader.
May 1, 2019 at 2:05 amScore: 73.9
Good job! I will get back to you shortly.
Best,
Lin Qiu
April 29, 2019 at 9:53 pmScore: 71.3 (good job!)
Suggestions for Improvement
- Shorten sentences exceeding 20 words;
- Reduce grammatical errors.
Rewrite and resubmit your essay.
Problems Highlight
Looking back on our life track, we would find that there are countless people leave a mark on us. [Remove There…Be/Grammatical Error] And throughout our life, especially when we are children, we have the closest relationship and communication with our parents.[Verbose &Grammatical Error] Because of this, I firmly believe that parents are the best teachers to [Grammatical Error]us.
There is no doubt that teachers in the school do have a critical impact on us, for they teach us science and professional knowledge, but their guidance usually limited in classes[Verbose]. However, parents are the teachers of our life. They usually stay with us, so we can learn from them not only by what they said but also by what they did. And in my opinion, it is the most effective and natural way to learn. For instance, the animals [Grammatical Error] such as elephants and lions improve their viability by imitating their parents’ behavior, and the same situation happened when we were very young. [Verbose]Still, it is common to see that a person from a harmony family is more possible to be friendly and good-tempered than others.
What’s more, parents are the very few people who treat us fully [Problematic/unnecessary adverb ] honestly in the world. We can trust them without suspecting their intention, but we usually have to think about other’s purpose when he/she raises advice to us. Admittedly, for they have been watching our whole growing track, they must know us better than others. Combined with their rich experience, their suggests would be more practical to accept in many situations.
Taking all these into consideration, many people may give us some guidance in different situations. Though all of them can be our teachers, our parents must be the best one.
April 29, 2019 at 9:41 pm[Please add my WeChat account; I have sent an invitation to you. Thanks.]
Score: 57.5
Suggestions for Improvement
- Shorten the essay to 320 words;
- Reduce the number of passive-voice sentences;
- Shorten/split sentences exceeding 20 words.
Rewrite and resubmit your essay.
Problems Highlight [Please be noted that there are more problems with your essay, and I will point out new errors once you re-upload your revised essay.]
As we were born, the first people we contacted with [Grammatical Error]were parents. However, as time went pass[Spelling Error], we soon grow up and attend school in order to learn knowledge. Teachers have played an important role to teach and transfer new aspects of the world to us since that time. In my opinion, more and more people don’t respect and view teachers as an crucial [Grammatical Error] as before, so teachers are no longer highly [Problematic or Unnecessary Adverb] essential and valued by society. [Verbose Sentence] My view is based [Passive Voice]on change of attitude, environment of study, and structure of society.
With the attitude’s transformation, teachers played a vital person in the past. For example, at that time teachers were considered [Passive Voice] as careful and deliberate,[Punctuation Error] also the purpose of them is to impart not only knowledge but also traditional concepts. [Verbose Sentence]Additionally, parents were fairly [Problematic or Unnecessary Adverb] conservative to deem teachers as great model and ask their kids to imitate them before. [Verbose Sentence]Most parents often placed their hope on teachers to deliver morality idea in the past, while most parents get rid of outdated thinking and introduce open thoughts in [Grammatical Error ]nowadays.[Verbose Sentence]
From the environment of study’s angle, the sources and materials where you can find answers to solutions were not as convenient as today. Undoubtedly[Problematic or Unnecessary Adverb] , [Punctuation Error]that’s why teacher [Grammatical Error]was valued [Passive Voice]as a significant characters [Grammatical Error]to provide lots of information to help us deal with the problem. [Verbose Sentence]Currently, the appearance of high technology totally[Problematic or Unnecessary Adverb] reshapes our environment of study, and most students could figure out solutions by searching on computers, browsing electronic books, and lots of means without teachers’ assistance. [Verbose Sentence]As a result, teachers are not valued as useful to answer the students’ confusions.
Finally, from the viewpoint of structure [Grammatical Error]of society, the birth rate was so high enough then to require more teachers. Subsequently, due to more and more children gradually [Problematic or Unnecessary Adverb] were on education, there were increasing demands for teachers teaching the new generation at that moment. [Verbose Sentence]Therefore, society could not operate without teachers then. Whereas, the population of new born [Spelling Error]declines in recent year and the society now doesn’t need teachers anymore. Meanwhile, the transformation of society’s structure completely put a huge impact on the value of teachers.
In conclusion, according to three viewpoints mentioning above, teachers are less appreciated, valued and respected than past in today. [Repetition]
April 27, 2019 at 7:18 pmScore: 65.3 (Great job! The score is lower than the last one, but you shortened your essay significantly.)
Main Problem:
- An excessive number of sentences exceeding 20 words.
Rewrite and resubmit your essay.
Errors Highlight
What is the life pattern at the time when our grandparents were children like? Recently, this question intrigues people’s curiosity and brings a heated discussion about whether life today becomes easier and more comfortable. As for me, there is no doubt that life today is easier[Word Repetition] and more comfortable than it was when my grandparents were children.
First of all, no one could ignore the advents of those new technologies during these years. Thanks to those new technologies, life today is much easier and more comfortable. Take the ways of communication for example, when my grandparents were children, telephones were wired, so they had to be fixed in the house. People had to stay at home to make phone calls, which is really [Problematic/unnecessary adverb]inconvenient. But now, everyone could afford a portable telephone [punctuation error]and you can use it to communicate with anyone you want at any places. By comparing, it is not hard to get the conclusion that life today is easier [Word Repetition] and more comfortable.
What’s more, we are living in a period with a more liberal social environment which also makes today’s life easier and comfortable than before. Conversely, the social rules were very strict when my grandparents were children. At that time, people believed that the oldest child in the family should sacrifice his spare time to take care of the younger ones. My grandmother was the oldest one in her family and after her brother was born, caring for her brother occupied her leisure time. She couldn’t enjoy hanging with friends or roaming the countryside in her spare time anymore. However, nowadays, we attach importance to liberty and support everyone to do whatever they want to do. This social environment enables us to enjoy an easier [Word Repetition] and more [Article Error ]comfortable life. [This sentence lacks a comparable object]
In conclusion, life today is easier [Word Repetition] and more comfortable than it was when my grandparents were children.
April 26, 2019 at 8:44 pmScore: 67.1
Suggestions for Improvement
- Reduce the number of sentences exceeding 20 words.
Rewrite and resubmit your essay.
Problems Highlight
Looking back on our life track, we would find that there are countless people left [Grammatical Error]a mark on us. And throughout our life, especially when we are child [Grammatical Error], we have the closest relationship and communication with our parents. Because of this, I firmly [Problematic Adverb]agree that parents are the best teachers to us.
There is no doubt that teachers in the school do have a critical impact on us, for they teach us science and professional knowledge, [Punctuation Error]however, their guidance usually limited in classes. [Wordy Sentence] In the opposite, parents are the teachers of our life. They usually stay with us, [Punctuation Error]thus we can learn from them not only by what they said but also by what they did. And in my opinion, it is the most effective and natural way to learn. For instance, the animals in the nature [Grammatical Error] such as elephants and lions accumulate experiences to improve their viability by imitating their parents’ behavior. [Wordy Sentence]And the same situation naturally [Problematic Adverb] happened even when we were too young to know what is learning. Still, it is common to see that a person from a harmony family is more possible [More… Than…]to be friendly and good-tempered.
What’s more, parents are the very few people who treat us totally [Problematic Adverb]sincerely[Problematic Adverb] in the world. We can trust them without suspecting their intention, [Punctuation Error]however, we usually have to think about other’s purpose when he/she raises advice to us. Admittedly, for they have been watching our whole growing track, they must know us better than other {Wrong Word] one. Combining with their rich experience, their suggests would be more practical to accept in many situations. [Grammatical Error]
Taking all these into consideration, many people may give us some guidance in different situations, and in this way, they can be our teachers, but our parents must be the best one, no matter considering the time span [Spelling Error]or the quality of teaching. [Wordy Sentence]
April 26, 2019 at 8:18 pmScore: 59.7
Suggestions for Improvement
- Reduce the number of passive-voice sentences.
Rewrite and resubmit your essay.
Problems Highlight
hese days, many people owe a lot to celebrities in that they draw up great attention to the welfare industry. However, they have addressed the problems hardly enough, and their influence on humanity issues is nuanced. [Passive Voice]
To many people, celebrities seem to (be helpful in raising)[Verbose] awareness of societal issues. This [Use Concrete Noun to Replace Unclear Pronoun]is because they are often seen joining different awareness campaigns and donating money to NGOs, which offers good examples as an ambassador.[Wordy Sentence] In most cases, they are invited by [Passive Voice] or cooperated with the sponsors, [Punctuation Error]since their great [Vague Adjective]reputation can easily attract the attention of social media.[Wordy Sentence] Problems are visible to people through high-frequency reports and exposure. For example, Emma Watson once gave a speech in the UN about feminism, which had been reported [Passive Voice] worldwide. Hundreds of thousands of people joined the discussion and lingered about it for quite a while.
However, such influence is not lasting, and problems are not made more outstanding. The reason for this is because the audiences are mainly [Problematic Adverb] fans. These fans, following whatever their idols do, often regard donations as a way to support their favourite actors. If there are new gossips coming out [Grammatical Error with Subjunctive Voice], they would soon transfer their enthusiasm into other things. One example comes from the prestigious singer Faye Wong, who had established a foundation for kids born with an abnormal mouth. The foundation had received funds from her fans initially, but very few have kept donating throughout the years. When she divorced and quickly [Problematic Adverb] engaged with another actor, attention to the foundation quietly disappeared. [Wordy Sentence]
Although those famous people have brought problems into our view, these problems are not becoming more valued. Rather, the focus on the problems is often stolen, by scandals of celebrities.
April 26, 2019 at 8:04 pmApril 26, 2019 at 3:46 amScore: 64.
There is a big improvement from your last version. The score is lower than the last one, but this has largely resulted from the reduction of words from the last version. I will get back to you soon.
Best wishes,
Lin Qiu
April 25, 2019 at 2:29 pmScore: 66.2 [Great job!]
Your essay is very easy to read. Now I will give you suggestions for Advanced Improvement. Please rewrite and resubmit your essay.
Additional Problems Highlight
Some people believe that children should learn how to be good citizens at school. But others think that it’d [Don’t use abbreviations]be better for them to learn it from their parents. I am in favour of the second opinion.
A child’s eduction [Spelling Error] is not [Use concrete verb to replace Be verb; avoid using NOT]about learning knowledge and getting [Use formal word] good scores only [Problematic positioning of modifer]. It’s [Don’t use abbreviations; Use concrete verb to replace Be verb]more [More ….Than]]about the formation of personality and the shaping of moral conviction. But generally, schools are places to teach students how to make a living. And it is impossible for teacher to take responsibility for every student’s personality formation. Because students always outnumber teachers in most schools.[Incomplete sentence]
So parents should see to it that their kids can get suitable family education. There are two main reasons why parents should teach children how to be good [Use concrete word]members of society rather than teachers. Firstly, according to a great [Use concrete word]number of researches (Grammatical error], people’s personality can be much more mountable at their tender age than in any other periods. Compared to teachers, children at this young age usually spend more time with their parents. Therefore, it’s [Don’t use abbreviations]a good time for parents to teach their children right from wrong and help them form proper moral conviction.
Secondly, it is well known [verbose] that children tend to imitate their parents unconsciously. So kids can grow up healthier if their parents can set good examples for them.[Grammatically incorrect subjunctive voice] For instance, those children who grow up in loving families with educational [Change word form] parents can always achieve better [better… than..]performance in lots of [Use formal word] aspects. And [Error of coordination word use]these children can surely make greater [greater… than ]contributions to the society.
To summarize, to help the young generation to be better members of the society, family and school education are both vital. And [Error of coordination word use] parents’ education is more indispensable.
April 25, 2019 at 3:56 amScore: 58
Suggestions for Improvement
- Reduce the length of paragraphs to -85 words;
- Shorten essay to 320 words;
- Many sentences are unclear (they are grammatically correct, but they are factually/logically problematic.);
- Unclear echoing that was primarily caused by inappropriate pronouns. (The subject of a sentence should echo the subject/object of the prior sentence.]
Rewrite and resubmit your essay.
These days, many people owe a lot to celebrities who make significant contributions to the welfare industry. By joining philanthropy activities and donating money to international aid organisations, they raise awareness of humanity and environmental issues. [Lengthy, hard-to-read sentence]However, I argue that they do not draw up attention to welfare itself.People agree with the former idea may fanatically adore their idols as the most good-hearted people. They not only give away their assets to those in need but also engaged in different campaigns. Many explain this as a natural revealment of some uplifting morals, as if these people were helping for free. They don’t know that this is a double-win process. By offering a little cost, which could be a sum of money not hard to earn, they build up a perfect image with immortal souls. This, in the end, would help them to gain more fans and followers, and lead to a brighter career.In light of this, I only agree with the idea that those famous people are helpful as fund-raisers. But not moral therapists at all. We often astonished at surging internet traffic about international aid produced by devout fans. These fans, following whatever their idols do, regard support to the welfare industry as a thing that makes their heroes happy. The enthusiasm would soon drain when the celebrities no longer do it or devote themselves to other activities. And sometimes these celebrities are even too famous that, people are distracted by their gossips rather than the problems. Years ago, the prestigious Chinese singer Faye Wong established a foundation for kids born with an abnormal mouth. The foundation once received support from her fans at the beginning, but very few have kept donating throughout the years. When she divorced years ago and quickly engaged with another actor, the foundation quietly escaped from people’s minds.Although celebrities encouraged a lot of noble behaviours, which brought attention to humanity process, they are sometimes charm overloaded that they distract people’s attention from the problems. [Lengthy, hard-to-read sentence]April 25, 2019 at 3:43 amScore: 62.9
Suggestions for Improvement
- Shorten/split sentences exceeding 20 words; (more than 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words.)
Rewrite and resubmit your essay.
Problems Highlight
Nowadays [Verbose], some people believe that children should learn how to be good citizens at school while others think that it’d be better for them to learn it from their parents. [Lengthy, difficult-to-read sentence] I am in favor [Non-British spelling] ]of the second opinion.
It goes without saying that [Verbose]a child’s eduction is not just (Problematic Adverb) about learning knowledge and getting good scores. It’s more about the formation of personality and the shaping of moral conviction. But generally, schools are just (Problematic Adverb) places to learn about skills and knowledge. And since students always greatly(Problematic Adverb) outnumber teachers in most of [Grammatical Error] schools, it is impossible for teacher [grammatical error] to take responsibility for every student’s personality formation.[Lengthy, difficult-to-read sentence]
So parents should see to it that their own [Verbose]kids can get good [Grammatical Error] education. There are two main reasons why parents should teach children how to be good members of society rather than teachers. Firstly, according to a great number of researches, people’s personality can be much more mountable at their tender age than in any other periods. Compared to teachers, children at this young age usually spend more time with their parents. Therefore, it’s a good time for parents to teach their children right from wrong and help them form proper moral conviction.
Secondly, it should be noted [Passive Voice]that children tend to imitate their parents unconsciously. If parents can set good examples for their children, thier {spelling error] kids can naturally(Problematic Adverb) grow up healthier. For instance, those children who grow up in loving families with educational parents can always achieve better performance in lots of aspects and can make greater contributions to the society than other children. [Lengthy, difficult-to-read sentence]
In summary, to teach the young generation to be better members of the society, family eduction [Non-British spelling] ] is much more important than the education at school. [Lengthy, difficult-to-read sentence]
April 24, 2019 at 9:32 pmScore: 55.4
Suggestions for Improvement
- Shorten your essay to 320 words;
- Control each paragraph to 85 words;
- Shorten/split all sentences exceeding 20 words;
- Reduce passive-voice sentences.
Rewrite and resubmit your essay.
Regards.
April 24, 2019 at 9:26 pmScore: 64.8
Suggestions for Improvement
- Shorten your essay to 320 words;
- Simplify/split sentences exceeding 20 words;
- Convert passive-voice sentences into their active counterparts;
- Use concrete verbs to replace BE verbs.
Rewrite and resubmit your essay.
Problems Highlight
As time goes by, it seems that people are always unhappy or discontent with their lives nowadays. In my opinion,[logical repetition] I cannot agree more with that point of view. And this point of view even accepted by all of [Verbose]my friends as well, the true [Grammatical Error]is that little of people feel happy of [Grammatical Error]satisfied with their lives now.
Needless to say, science and technology now make earth [Grammatical Error]a whole, which means that people could get in touch with each other no matter how far away they are. It is acknowledged by [Passive Voice] us all that we always feel happy when we are being [Grammatical Error]with our friends or relatives. But is a phone call which phoned by your close friends or relatives that comes from far away from me equal to chatting with them face-to-face? Of course not. Although I can hear their sound, see their expression, I can never feel their touch or embrace them deeply[Problematic Adverb]. Furthermore, at the mercy of technology, people not are less treasure the moment that get[Grammatical Error] together with friends or relatives. So, as[Grammatical Error] my opinion, people now are less happy because of the convenience of getting in touch.
Besides, as the limitation of methods on acquiring information has been infinitely reduced [passive voice}, people’s desires are expanding gradually. Consequently, people now are getting more and more difficult having a feel of satisfied than people in the past. Take myself and my grandpa as a [Grammatical Error]example, My [Grammatical Error]grandpa are [Grammatical Error]easily satisfied with sufficient amount of food and a place to live. While, as to me, what I want is travelling around the world and being in a position where every one of my friends admired. Knowing more means wanting more, [Grammatical Error]it is harder to satisfy a person who willing more than others. Nowadays, people generally want more than people in the past, so people are less satisfied than people in the past.
In sum, from my prospect of view, people are truly [Problematic Adverb] more unhappy or less satisfied with their live [Grammatical Error]than people in the past. And I believe, it is might be a good choice to cherish the moment when get [Grammatical Error]together and lower the goal I set.
April 24, 2019 at 4:21 pmScore: 67
Suggestions for Improvement
- Shorten your essay to 320 words;
- Change passive voice to active voices;
- Shorten or split sentences exceeding 20 words;
- Restrict each paragraph within 85 words.
Rewrite and resubmit your essay.
Errors Highlight
What is the life pattern at the time when our grandparents were children like? Someone puts this question on the Internet and [Punctuation Error]soon the question intrigues people’s curiosity and brings a heated discussion about whether life today becomes easier[Punctuation Error] and more comfortable. As for me, there is no doubt that life today is easier and more comfortable than it was when my grandparents were children.
First of all, no one could ignore the advents of those new technologies during these years. Thanks to those new technologies, life today is much easier and more comfortable. Take the ways of communication for example, when my grandparents were children, telephones were so rare that they only had one telephone in their countryside which makes it harder for my grandparents to communicate with their parents who worked in the city. [Very-hard-to read sentence] Also, the old type telephone was immovable, so people might have to walk for a long time to have a call and wait for a recall for a long time at the same place. But now, everyone could afford a portable telephone and [Punctuation Error]you can use it to communicate with anyone you want at any time and an places [Grammatical Error]. By comparing, it is not hard to get the conclusion that life today is more easy Grammatical Error]and m.
What’s more, we are living in a period with a much more liberal social environment which also makes today’s life easier and comfortable than before. Conversely, the social rules were very strict [Verbose ] for people when my grandparents were children, [Punctuation Error] they had to burden the pressure come from society. [Very-hard-to read sentence]For example, my grandmother was the oldest one in her family. At that time, people believed that the oldest child in the family should spend their time to take care of the younger ones. Singing is my grandmother’s favourite during her childhood but[Punctuation Error] she had no time to sing after her brother was born. She had to take care of him because this is her responsibility accordance [Grammatical Error] with the social rules. So her life began to be filled [Passive Voice] up with studying and caring for her brother and became not as easy and comfortable as before. However, nowadays, we emphasize individual`s [Grammatical Error]liberty and support everyone to do what they want to do. This social environment really [Unnecessary Adverb] helps us to live a easier [Grammatical Error] and more comfortable life.
In conclusion, life today is easier and more comfortable than it was when my grandparents were children.
