Score: ungraded

Issues:

1. More than 50% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.

I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

Invalid [ I am unable to work on two essays simultaneously for one student at a time. Submit a new subsequent to the completion of the other essay.]

Score: ungraded

Issues:

1. More than 50% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
2. More than 30% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

Invalid ( I will not work on this essay until you complete the revision of the last essay.)

Score: ungraded

Issues:

1. More than 60% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
2. More than 20% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

Score: 60.1 [last revision]

A second language is a compulsory course in many schools; however, educators are not sure whether this subject should be set up in primary school or in secondary school. I believe that the former arrangement benefits children more.

Children pick up languages much more effortlessly than teenagers. Most linguists believe there is a critical period for children to acquire language. During that period, they could not distinguish the first language from the second language, so they would treat or learn them in the same way. Also, young children’s brains are programmed to acquire their mother tongue. In this case, people can easily master another language at their early age, just like their native languages. In contrast, if a person missed out on this vital chance, they may would have difficulty in learning another language. For example, they may fail to understand grammar, remember vocabulary or imitate the accent of native speakers.

Another advantage is that children can allocate more time and energy to learning languages in primary school. This is because the secondary school curriculum is heavier than that of primary school. Children may sacrifice their language learning time in order to complete other subjects. For instance, many Chinese students have to spend a massive amount of time to study new subjects such as physics, chemistry and biology. In this case, their exposure to foreign languages may become insufficient, a factor that may hinder acquiring their acquisition of a new language.

In conclusion, I am convinced that young children’s innate abilities should be harnessed, and anything that contributes to language learning should be encouraged.

Score: ungraded

Along with the process of production capacity [ unclear], the amount[wrong word ] of different kinds of goods rises. Therefore, enterprises advertise more to promote [repetition ]their goods [ punctuation error concerning coordinating word ] and these advertisements seem to have managed to increase sales [ logical confusion ]. [  punctuation error concerning coordinating word]So, some people may reckon that the [ article error ]high sales of good [word form error  ] reflect the power of advertising rather than the real needs of society. I’m afraid [ redundant ] I couldn’t agree that advertising is the main engine for goods sales.

According to the [ article error ] economic theory, demand determines supply. As a result, meeting society’s needs is the key to boost sales (instead of making sophisticated advertisements) [ dislocation ]. In other words, no matter how fascinating the meat [ wrong word ]advertisements are, they can never attract a firm vegetarian. The main impetus of sales is social needs. [repetition  ] For instance, if people in eastern Asia are hungry, they many [wrong word  ]want rice and pork while Europeans in the same situation might prefer bread and beef. Hence, if a starving Chinese choose to buy rice, it is not because of the rice adverts better [grammatical error  ]than bread, but their real needs [grammatical error  ].

However, advertisements may play an important role to [ incorrect preposition ]provide new product’s [word form error  ]information to customers. Coca-cola spent years to [ wrong preposition ]turn back peoples’ attitude that cola is a drink rather than medicine. In addition, when competitors share the same scope [ rephrase ], advertisements take effect. For example, bread advertisements spare no effort to speard [spelling error  ] that they are more organic than other bread baking companies [logical confusion  ].

To conclude, it is the social real needs that increase the goods’ sales. Still, advertisements stimulate social needs to some degree. So, take properly [ word form error ]use of advertisement is essential. [ punctuation error concerning coordinating word ]But don’t rely on them.

Score: 61.7

Issues:

1. Nearly 30% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
2. Nearly 30% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.

I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.