Score: ungraded

Issues:

1. About 50% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
2. About 15% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
3. Lots of errors concerning the use of the article THE.

I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

Please add my WeChat account. Thanks.

Score: ungraded

Issues:

1. About 40% of the sentences exceed 20 words. Shorten/split them.
2. About 30% of the sentences are passive. Convert some of them into their active counterparts.
3. The essay is poorly structured.
4. lengthy paragraph(s). Restrict each paragraph to 90 words.

I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

Some people think children have too much freedom. Do you agree or disagree?

In the[/this ] modern world, the young generation has more opportunities than the old [ aged]group[ unsubstantiated statement]. In my opinion, children (fail to act according to their willingness when they attend courses)[unclear ], but it[ unclear pronoun] is fairly free in some aspects.

On the one hand, students[wrong concept ] are entitled the right to study in the school while having to follow disciplines. [incorrect sentence emphasis ] Teachers [logically disconnected from the last sentence ]regulate students through[wrong preposition ] implementing a series of school rules. For instance, [loss of logical connection from the last sentence ]students should finish their homework punctually instead of being encouraged to hang out with their peers[incorrect sentence emphasis ]. Plus ,[spacing error ]they [unclear pronoun ]are required to arrive at school on time and not permitted to sleep in class.[ spacing problem]Consequently, they[unclear pronoun ] are granted limited freedom (on the campuses)[wrong phrase ].

On the other hand, most children have too [ redundant adverb](much pocket money taken )[ unclear]according to their preferences. Due to (fierce employment markets)[logical confusion ], parents prefer to pay more attention to their[unclear pronoun ] careers and hope their children can take care of themselves through (controlling more money)[unclear ] . [ spacing error]for[ spelling error] example, parents would give their children affluent money to get a takeaway ,[ punctuation error]when they cope with their [unclear pronoun ]work at meal time[spelling error/confusing ]. In this way, the young group are inclined to gain the rest of money as their pocket money spent on their preferred products.[unclear ]

All in all, children are not allowed to do what they want but commit[wrong word ] the rule of schools with regards to education. When it comes to the freedom of shopping, it seems that they have more choices. My view is that children are too[wrong adverb ] free in some areas.[ unclear]

Score: ungraded

Issues:

1. Numerous grammatical errors.

I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.

Score: 51.5

I think[ /argue that ] governments should invest more money on Internet access [ improvement ] than public transportation; [. My argument rests on the fact that  ] the Internet will be more [ is ] influential[/critical  ] because it changes our lifestyles[mention a more relevant reason  ] .

We doubt the latter[specify  ] ’s effectiveness now though it[unclear pronoun  ] brought a prosperous society[ unclear ] . In contemporary people get used to driving or riding the existed buses and trains.[ unclear ] [lack transitory word  ] The demands of public and private transportation have reached [ article error ] equilibrium and will remain stationary[wrong word  ] for an extended period. Also, public transportation has its drawbacks. The development of public transportation promotes the[article error  ] interaction between people but [ unparalleled structure ] can not[  spelling error] impede the[article error  ] epidemic transmission. During the COVID-19 pandemic, [ for instance, ] a city like New York that strongly relies on public transportation systems failed[ /fail ] to quickly control the transmission[repetition  ] . So[punctuation error concerning the use of coordination word  ] it is time to reconsider our public transportation: should we spend more money on it?

In my view, (the solution is the Internet)[unclear  ] . So far, the Internet has reshaped some people’s lifestyles. Online services save our time to reach a certain place serval miles away, (which is the spatial efficiency of the Internet)[ unclear ] . [missing transitory word  ] We do not have to shop, to take classes[word form error  ] and to meet people (in special places)[unclear  ] . The Internet also benefits us more through its high speed, namely, its (time efficiency)[ unclear ] . On Amazon, I usually filter the goods more [lack a comparison  ] rapidly; the results fit me well. On housing portals, I can match an ideal residence in a short time. The network resembles a (transportation system that improves our communication abilities)[ unclar ] but with a limited public relationship[unlcear  ] . It is [article error  ] novel infrastructure worth investment (compared with the outdated public transportation)[ misplaced ] .

Unlike public transportation, [article error  ] Internet is still immature but has [  unparalleled] potential. The Internet can change more [ lack comparison ] [expanded societal  ] aspects like our payment method, gaming, manufacturing, etc. One should stay conservative to confront technological revolutions (in different careers)[unclear  ] . However, we can only understand the advantages and shortcomings [logical incompleteness  ] after implementing the[ article error/unclear ] network technologies that require a considerable expense. A governor[wrong word  ] is supposed to consider the prospects of an industry when making a decision.[ irrelevant ]

Score: ungraded

Issues:

1. Numerous grammatical errors.
2. About 80% of the sentences lack connections.

I will send you screenshots to illustrate specific problems/errors.