Score: 58.2

You need to resolve these issues in relation to your essay.

1. Shorten/split most sentences exceeding 20 words;
2. Restrict each paragraph within 85 words.

I will send you screenshots illustrating errors/problems of your essay. Revise your essay accordingly and then re-submit your essay.

——————–

Below are the notes I shared with several students. Read them:

Notes:

1. All of the prompts are from former TOEFL exams.
2. The information available online, i.e., Google search results, is either misleading or wrong relative to length: [an organization] states independent essays should be between 280-320 words. More words than needed is equivalent to more opportunities to make a mistake. Students should be informed re: word count, i.e., MORE WORDS does not mean a higher score.
3. Information concerning paragraphs/content available from [a TOEFL training school], etc. is also wrong: the number of paragraphs is irrelevant and the only important issue re: content is to RESPOND DIRECTLY to the prompt, i.e., the raters/software doesn’t care about structure or content except the latter must Make sense and Must directly respond to the prompt [to preclude prepared essays].
4. UK usage/spelling is entirely acceptable.
5. AVOID complex grammar; avoid ‘Chinese English’ usage; 5 tenses: present, past, future, present perfect [have done/has been], and conditional [would go/could do it] are OPTIMAL.
6. Don’t rewrite the prompt in the first paragraph of your essay…it’s okay to paraphrase [use words that mean the same thing].
7. Recent TOEFL change…students found test takes too long, so there are fewer multiple-choice questions, i.e., essays are now more heavily ‘weighted’]

Here is the answer:

https://personalstatement101.com/how-to-write-cv-for-hkust-msc-in-accounting-program/

Regards,

Lin Qiu

Sure. Either submit your CV to this forum or contact me via WeChat.

Regards,

Lin Qiu

Score: 69

You need to improve your essay by addressing the following problems:

• Shorten/split sentences exceeding 20 words.

I will send you screenshots to illustrate the problems/errors.

Hi, please check the link below to learn how to revise your CV.

https://personalstatement101.com/cv-for-solid-mechanics-phd-program/

Regards,

Lin Qiu

Final Revision

Score: 69.7

I will get back to you with the final revision shortly.

Regards,

Lin Qiu